With every minute in passing
I image a day a real moment of return to normal,
Will it ever come? I say to myself aloud in my mind, day of dreams I’m dreaming awake…
I lay awake to sleep at night feeling the shadows of passed memories lost energies the time lapse has worsened the emotion and butterflies still rise…
My actions say I’m over, turning my cheek to the present but my insides are screaming for the hollows of he…
Why me? I say. Why can’t this faze out away and be over no sprout:::
Roots of short run deep and to my fault the stars weep for me because time has lapsed and love…well it lives in an eternity something I likely may never see with he oh he that stole this heart of lone
A time ago now so gone it’s lapsed the time and I know none of the more only faint memos of fantasy I’ll wake up… Until then the ride is one that doesn’t end until it’s parked; lapsed is my heart and time won’t tell it apart.
In my life love has a continuous tendency to dance in and write out as it presents, at times without notice as I failed to notice.
I came so many times hoping to keep the permanent residents around, I thought wrong as better knew it….I was
Fucking to please and please…I was fucked. If only I’d seen it coming so soon.
Give or take I take to give rang like a ragdoll digging only to dig right into what I found was a ditch, what was I to do once I slid there was no where to head trying to hid from my own damn insides, on me I relied wrong in my rights lost all rides to be throned queen ignoring my ambitions to the lonely intuition was my petition to plead for pleasure.
Found on my knees tears to thee oh poor she… She’ll learn oh she…who? Me? Too high to see her own sickness, to love and to be loved in retrospect to self-love I had none. Lost it and some find me if you need until then I forfeit forfeit to understand anyone else’s ideas of what and who I should love, I forsee of great deity faith and queen pride that’ll be it all and endings I’ll survive the waves that turf this drift, flooding my life like a hurricane I’ll rise to the persuasion.
There have been many instances when I have scanned old images of myself with others and thought, hmm we’re not friends any longer or we’re not together or we are very distant now. To my ephipany in the images there was no intimate closeness or sincere unity.
So I started to look at other peoples images and scan if they were together or held a strong bond still and some were and some were not.
In the mental project I’ve learned that people express outwardly what they feel inwardly even if they do not mean too.
An inner change has to take place in order to maintain the truth of the love that is told to last or whatever implies in the circumstances. The journey is a process.
I’ve sat for hours trying to make out what mistakes were made along the way, now trying to help myself not make the same mistakes….
What are the odds of me doing something I’ve always pictured in my mind doing but never doing in reality✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️ flight attending. I do know that the job can be a very lonely career with all the overnights and days … Continue reading →